North Branford Intermediate
Date Posted: April 11, 2005
School: North Branford Intermediate
Town: North Branford
Slug: North Branford Community Round Up
Status: Re-Submit
Length: 45.59
DELIVERY: Clear delivery and nice pace.
INTERVIEWS: Good choices for interviews. Nice job getting two interviews. Good information, but the first interview ran a bit long. You can take some of what she said and write that information into your voice over. Also, you could paraphrase some of what the interviewee said and use it as part of their introduction, ex."North Branford High School principal, Jack Brown, feels Community Round Up teaches the volunteers valuable lessons…" Remember to add information when introducing the interviewee and not just say "Mr. Brown said…" or "This is Mr. Brown".
ORIGINALITY: Great story idea. Work on your writing and everything else will fall into place.
WRITING: Great job covering who, what, where, why, when, and how, but your interviews told your story. Take the information that they gave in their interviews and write it into your voiceover. Then take the best clip of their interview to use. If you use shorter sound bites and write more, you will make the story stronger. You want to capture the viewer's attention right at the start of the story. To grab their interest, try some thing more along the lines of "Every year 200 pounds of food are donate to support soup kitchens in North Branford" or "Fifteen years ago it started as a scavenger hunt. Now it has become a major event in the North Branford Schools. It is called Community Round Up and it raises food for …" instead of "I'm here with…" A strong statement at the beginning will get the story off to a strong start.
VIDEO: Lots of great shots. Great footage of the food drive and the truck packed with donations. Always remember a tripod. Shaky shots are distracting. Remove the super with the teacher's name on the screen. We can't post produce the Student News banner if you have a super on the bottom third of the screen. Please introduce all interviews with in your script.
AUDIO: Good audio levels. Take out the music in the beginning. Most news stories do not have music.
EDITING: After you work on your writing and writing into your interviews, then focus on your editing. Once the writing is in place the editing should be easier. Your cuts should be crisp. No dissolves or wipes. They are not used in news stories.
OVERALL: Great first try! Interesting topic and good information. Work on our suggestions and you will have a great story. Also, the story is too short. It came in at 45.59 seconds. When you re-write and re-edit, make sure the story is as close to 50 seconds, from the beginning of the voice-over/stand-up to the end of the voiceover/stand-up, as possible.
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